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When I was kid, I wanted to be a fruit in Jogobella

Výlevy

Esej z angličtiny na téma "Jaké zájmy z dětství vás nejvíce ovlivnily" aneb Kdo napíše větší ptákovinu a přesto dostane zápočet. Natočeno podle skutečné události.

Many, many years ago, I was a little naive child. My parents always told me to eat more vegetables, fruits and milk products because otherwise I would die slowly and painfully in burning hell. So I ate everything I could. Every summer I was growing my own strawberries, radishes and carrots in our not so little garden, watering them twice a day and trapping and scaring away white butterflies, because their caterpillars were eating my own hell prevention food. Every winter I was so happy that no devil arrived at our house with an one way ticket to hell signed with my name.

Then, one sunny autumn, I began attending elementary school and everything changed for me. I discovered that there isn't any hell, because these noisy little kids didn't eat vegetables twice an hour, and, surprisingly, no devil was waiting for them at the door with evil grin on his face. On the first school day we were introduced to the school canteen and that was my second life-changing discovery. The devils weren't waiting for these unholy non-vegetable-eating-kids at the door, they were cooking for them something scary called „school lunch“! Since that one day I've understood what hell is. Hell is when you have to eat in a school canteen and you don't know what stinks more, the plate or the food on it.

One day a magic box appeared in our house – it was precisely mounted in the living room wall, so I first thought that my parents had taken captive a bunch of people, which then had to do silly things in a small box. I felt so sorry for these people that I wanted to set them free at first, but then came my third life-changing discovery. I saw it and I wanted to. I wanted to be a fruit in Jogobella. These small cute strawberries were having great time surfing on the wave of yummy yoghurt and I gazed on the television and wished to be that small strawberry growing in our sunny garden and waiting to be a piece of Jogobella.

***

Several years have passed, I am not eating tons of carrots like an elephant anymore, the hell didn't freeze, in fact it's even worse - school food is just not good food. Not so long ago, after absolving many years of chemistry and biology classes, I finally found out that I just can't be a fruit in Jogobella because I will never have 0% fat. But that commercial inspired me, so I now make my living doing advertising – be it just for fun, like commercials about fictional products, or for money – posters, invitations, catalogs and websites. While it isn't making me rich, because I'm too lazy to do more projects at once, I really enjoy sitting and looking at nothing until some idea comes to my mind. Then I sit down and take the craziest part of the idea. When I wake up the next day and see what I've done, I often realize that I must have been mad or something.

Speaking about fictional commercials, my dream is absolute world domination with a family yoghurt company. I would create such an adorable commercial that will make kids want nothing else. Finally, parents won't event try to scare them with burning hell, because no school-canteen-hell will exist and if you don't know what it is like, you can't scare anyone with it.


My personal wish used to be becoming a fruit in Jogobella, now I want everyone to become fruit in Jogobella.

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